When I’m on this side of the internet, there’s no saving me. Aliens, aliens everywhere. I have been watching alien documentaries since I was far too little. It’s become obsessive. I read Chariots of the Gods once a year. It’s one of my religious texts. Just stack it right next to the Bhagavad Gita and we are good to go.

The probability that among the billions of stars and galaxies there’s life out there: 100 perfect. The probability that this life is more intelligent: 150 percent. You can blame those figures on the E! ‘News’ Network.

Here’s a few on the full documentaries that have made their way into my brain.

★ There is a show called Extreme Universes! Where have I been?