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Happy Birthday, President Obama!

August 4th, 2015 | Posted by Sarah in News | politics - (0 Comments)

Happy birthday, President Obama!

Thank you for keeping this world safe. That call of Bin Laden looked like one for the ages. Thank you for fighting for the underdogs. Republicans want us to “die in the streets.” Thank you for making us a country of dignity. Thank you for turning the other cheek to the most un-Christian politicians the world has ever seen. All while the GOP leads a prayer in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank you for fighting for the only planet we can breathe on. Thank you for raising two beautiful children. Thank you for showing us love is possible. Thank you for making us laugh. Thank you for fighting for kids to not only go to college but to be able to afford it. Thank you for creating a healthcare bill no one in the world thought was possible. Thank you for being the greatest president that I will ever have the privileged of voting for.

Sir, it was an honor to knock on some doors for you. It was an honor to write your speeches, and edit your footage. Thank you for giving me a job when I would have happily worked on your campaign for free.

My grandfather was as Republican as Robert E. Lee, but he would have voted for you.

I will be honored to fight for the next Democratic president, but I’ll be in pain to watch a real American hero leave office.

Yes, we can. Yes you did.

Ps: Sorry about the illiterates on Facebook from Foxnews. Stupid breeds, instead of reads.

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“You’re on notice, Skynet.” Ladies and gents, President Obama! Killing ‘em with the nerd jokes.

 
 

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Joni Ernst, “Picture it, Sicily, 1922. I was down to my last pair of bread bag galoshes…”

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Obama has a new speechwriter- and it shows.

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Meanwhile on Facebook…

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“Growing up I only had one pair of shoes…”

How much snow did she have to walk though? Hashtag pandering.

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POTUS: I have no more campaigns to run-
[Republican applause and whooping.]
POTUS: I know because I won both on them.

[Louder cheers.]

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“We may have different takes on the events of Ferguson and New York. But surely we can understand a father who fears his son can’t walk home without being harassed. Surely we can understand the wife who won’t rest until the police officer she married walks through the front door at the end of his shift. Surely we can agree it’s a good thing that for the first time in 40 years, the crime rate and the incarceration rate have come down together, and use that as a starting point for Democrats and Republicans, community leaders and law enforcement, to reform America’s criminal justice system so that it protects and serves us all.”

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“We may go at it in campaign season, but surely we can agree that the right to vote is sacred; that it’s being denied to too many; and that, on this 50th anniversary of the great march from Selma to Montgomery and the passage of the Voting Rights Act, we can come together, Democrats and Republicans, to make voting easier for every single American.”

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Remember not all SCOTUS chose to attend.

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“I still believe that we are one people. I still believe that together, we can do great things, even when the odds are long. I believe this because over and over in my six years in office, I have seen America at its best. I’ve seen the hopeful faces of young graduates from New York to California; and our newest officers at West Point, Annapolis, Colorado Springs, and New London. I’ve mourned with grieving families in Tucson and Newtown; in Boston, West, Texas, and West Virginia. I’ve watched Americans beat back adversity from the Gulf Coast to the Great Plains; from Midwest assembly lines to the Mid-Atlantic seaboard. I’ve seen something like gay marriage go from a wedge issue used to drive us apart to a story of freedom across our country, a civil right now legal in states that seven in ten Americans call home.”

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“It’s time to close GITMO.”

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“2014 was the warmest year on record.”

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“Captain is going into space for a year. Make sure you take an Instragram.”

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Me this entire speech.

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“We make rash decisions based on the headlines instead of using our heads.”

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“I intend to protect and free and open internet!”

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“I want the country that eliminated Polio.”

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“I want strong new trade deals to protect American workers from Asia.”

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21.38

“Michelle and Jill have helped create programs to get veterans hired. If you want to get something done, hire a veteran!”

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I am terrified.

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They want our speech writers! Poachers. ;)

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“The country is at an all time high for oil production. Unemployment is at a rate lower than the 2008 recession. The stock market is at an all time high. This is good news people.”

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Mister Speeeaker! The President of the United States! Four more years!!! If only.

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21.10

Some of the members of the Supreme Court have elected not to come tonight. Disgusting behavior.

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Group shot

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Infamous RG.

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President on his way.

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#YESWETAN oh White House Media team!

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